Along came a spider

The secret to happiness is having a home you love

– Sarah Winchester

 This entry was to have been my introduction. It still is, for all that. But what should be a simple, joyous occasion is marred by the sad news I must deliver. My debut announcement is to tell you that my mother, Thrintun Alien, has passed on.

May her spirit ever soar among the stars she so loved.

"Oh please, please, spare my Thrintun." "Nope. Not this time."
“Oh please, please, spare my Thrintun.” “Nope. Not this time.”

We have laid her to rest beside my grandfather and grandmother, Motie and Candice.

Though the sad news weighs heavily on me, allow me to try to introduce myself more formally. I am Tholian Alien, and if you’ve been reading these journal entries, no doubt you already know about my mother the astronaut and my grandfather the Holy Gr’Alien. When I was younger I planned to follow my grandfather into a career in music, but I’ve since become more enthralled by the written word. My family has been blessed with success, and I’ve already penned two best sellers.

I got the desk and the computer. I just need the words now.
I got the desk and the computer. I just need the words now.

Though my real name is on the cover of all my books, I’m also well known as The Spider. A pun, of sorts. My name comes from the old Star Trek television series. The episode was called The Tholian Web. As such, I’ve included web and spider puns in many, though not all, of the books I’ve published. The name has stuck, but since that and my relative youth gets me considerable attention, I’m in no position to complain about it.

I’ll get back to my sister and me in a few moments. First I’ll talk about my parents, my mother’s last week. I hope not to sound too maudlin, but I am truly happy for her. Since she turned over management of the family to me, she’s taken the time to relax and simply enjoy herself.

I don't think we've shared a dip in the pool since we got it. It's about time.
I don’t think we’ve shared a dip in the pool since we got it. It’s about time.

We share a certain lassitude, along with a drive to overcome it. Nevertheless, it was a joy to see her indulge in it at last, and allow herself to sleep during the day. I could turn that back to myself, and hope to one day enjoy the same privilege, but I think it better to allow my father the last word. “Really? You go to sleep on a green couch and don’t expect someone to sit on you by accident?”

One of the advantages of retirement is being able to sleep when you darn well want to.
One of the advantages of retirement is being able to sleep when you darn well want to.

Further, thanks to her many trips into space, we are the proud owners of all types of space rocks.

Space rocks - for such a small collection it takes a lot of time to get it.
Space rocks – for such a small collection it takes a lot of time to get it.

Given the sadness of the occasion, it is perhaps not entirely meet to publicly disagree with her, but I fear I must. If you’ve been following along, you know she was pursuing a career in space to find our supposed “alien origin.” I do not subscribe to that theory, and my own existence is proof of its falsehood. Whatever happened to Grandpa Motie, he had children by Grandma Candice, and both Mom and Uncle Pak also had children. If you can breed and have fertile offspring, by definition you’re the same species. Our skin is green, and that is certainly unique. At best, we have some humans who were captured and separated from the rest of mankind and kept in an environment where green skin was favored and… Hm, I see a book or perhaps a series of books from this idea.

Enough for now. Suffice to say that I will not be following my mother’s example and avidly exploring for an alien origin.

My twin sister Horta and I finally finished school and have moved into the world as adults. A long overdue recognition if I do say so myself. As always, we had a shared birthday party and had many friends and relatives over. We are very fortunate that there is a large overlap in those two categories.

The kids become adults, and the third generation of the legacy takes over.
The kids become adults, and the third generation of the legacy takes over.

My first order of business was to remodel the house. Grandpa Motie built the house I grew up in, and I felt it was time for something new. The builders complained and gave the usual inflated time estimates but still finished making the new home that afternoon. I am pleased with the result, although I admit it is still taking some time to get used to the new layout.

The new and enlarged Casa Alien.
The new and enlarged Casa Alien.

With some pleasure, I can end this entry with good news. I am engaged to a wonderful, if strange and difficult, woman with the unlikely name of Peyton Place. She’s a delight and a lot of fun to be around. I wish I’d been more certain she’d say yes but I asked anyway and was delighted when she did. I am also thankful Mother was still here to hear the good news, even if she will only be there for the wedding in spirit.

Married? Well, I don't know... It's a pretty ring, though, so I guess yes.
Married? Well, I don’t know… It’s a pretty ring, though, so I guess yes.

Horta is not yet engaged, but looking forward to it soon, with her beau, Antonio Heller. I hope she’s happy too.

Do these pants make my butt look fat?
Do these pants make my butt look fat?
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